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Crooked cops on the take -- small-time drug lords -- sleazy informers and sadistic rich kids ready to kill --- for police detective John Shaft, its just another night in the underbelly of New York City, another shift facing down cops and criminals who want him dead and a legal system that thrives on money, not justice.

Daring, ruthless and meticulous, Parker (Jason Statham) is one of the most successful thieves in the business. But when his latest robbery turns deadly because of a careless crew member, he declines to join crime boss Melander (Michael Chiklis) and his gang for another heist. The crooks turn on Parker and leave him for dead. Parker survives and vows vengeance, tracing the gang to Palm Beach. There, he joins forces with an unlikely ally (Jennifer Lopez) to hijack the gang's next big score.

Once a first-rate Secret Service agent, Joe Hallenbeck (Bruce Willis) is now a gruff private investigator whose latest gig is protecting a pole dancer (Halle Berry). When she's murdered, he grudgingly teams up with her boyfriend, Jimmy Dix (Damon Wayans), an ex-quarterback with a gambling problem, and the two go after her killers. Before long, they stumble onto a plot by a well-known football magnate (Noble Willingham) to bribe federal legislators into legalizing sports gambling.

The regulars are forced to rely on unique methods of survival after getting trapped in the bar during a snowstorm.

Cary learns a lesson in humility after entering an amateur comedy contest at the Laff Lounge; Arthur's new woman is suspected of being a "Black Widow."

Darius double books two feuding comics who used to be married; Joy goes to the extreme for a new man.

Last Call hosts a Valentine's Day party for singles; Darius finds himself juggling two dates; Arthur hires Drake "The Wrapper" as entertainment.

The kids' carelessness causes Bernie to have a near-death experience.