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Kate decides it is time for Betty Jo to put down the books and set out to find a significant other.
Colonel Harvey, a traveling salesman, arrives at Mayberry and captivates Aunt Bee, who buys Harvey's dubious elixir and invites him for dinner. When Andy and Barney find Aunt Bee clearly drunk, they analyze Harvey's elixir.
Malcolm Merriweather, an English tourist, passes by Mayberry on a bicycle; after causing a traffic accident, he agrees to work off the damages as Andy's personal valet.
Newlywed Benjamin Taber is in town with his bride when a bank robbery goes awry, and she disappears in a chaotic shootout. Determined to find her, Benjamin seeks out the help of crusty Quentin Leech, a bounty hunter who has his own reasons for wanting to catch the outlaws. As they follow the group's trail, they receive help from several unlikely sources, including Flora Mae Pepper, the owner of a brothel that doubles as a safe haven.
The Rev. Shay moves out West to set up his new home in Montana so that he can spread God's word. But when his wife, Raysha, leaves him for another man -- in part because she wants to return to Philadelphia -- the reverend decides to replace his spiritual ways with a gun. After shooting down his wife and her lover, he battles a landowner intent on keeping all the town's water for himself. But his deadly ways make him yearn for a belief in God again.
In pre-Civil War Texas, naïve Karl Westover (Gary Busey) accidentally kills his brother-in-law, and heads to Mexico to escape the consequences. Along the way, he encounters Barbarosa (Willie Nelson), who is also on the run. Barbarosa teaches Karl survival skills for the desert — and how to rob. In their journey from Texas to Mexico and back again, the two men are captured by outlaw Angel Morales, and pursued by Don Braulio (Gilbert Roland), who wants Barbarosa dead.
Unaware that the Civil War has ended, Col. John Henry Thomas (John Wayne) successfully attacks a Confederate company led by James Langdon (Rock Hudson). With the remnants of Langdon's squadron fleeing to Mexico, Thomas and his adopted Native American son, Blue Boy (Roman Gabriel), gather a herd of horses and head for the border with their company, to sell them. After Langdon's caravan is captured by a Mexican general (Tony Aguilar), Thomas nobly sacrifices the horses to free them.
In the American West, Willet Gashade (Warren Oates), a former bounty hunter, and Coley Boyard (Will Hutchins), his dimwitted partner, are approached by a secretive young woman (Millie Perkins) who offers them money to guide her through the desert but refuses to discuss why she is traveling. The group embarks on the journey and is eventually joined by Billy Spear (Jack Nicholson), a volatile gunslinger the woman has also hired. The only question is why.